Tuesday, April 28, 2009

I finished the last of the Twilight books and was pleased that I had read them. While not stunning works of fiction, I do have to say they held my attention and I read them every free chance I had. I think one of the reasons I liked them so much was because it was more than a Buffy clone but more like reading Vampires/Werewolves/ and Superheroes. Especially the last book of the series. The final showdown was like Legion of Super-Heroes VS Legion of Super-Villains. With horse sized wolves thrown in for good measure. That sounds cool just typing it. Now I have the intern (Diana) addicted as well. Unlike Wendy and I, she actually loved the first book. I consider the first book something you have to suffer through (like braces) in order to get the set-up for the next three books which I thought well worth it. She’s on book three already.

As for my writing, I continue to send out query letters to agents. Last week I got my first hit with an agent asking to see a partial. If she likes the partial, she'll request the whole manuscript. If she likes that, well, I'll be crying like a baby. A hungry angry baby. (Anyone recognize the quote?) It's a long process and asking for a partial is encouraging but really means very little in the whole process. One agent described it like this - "For every hundred queries I get, I might request one manuscript. For ever hundred manuscripts I decide to read, I might take on one new client."

Last night we watched “An Officer and a Gentleman” because Wendy had never seen it. I’ve never enjoyed it so much as I did last night. There have been times when Wendy and I will show the other a movie from that era and get done watching and apologize to the other with “Man, I am so sorry. I remember that movie being far better.” It really holds up well for a movie that was made almost thirty years ago. Man I’m old…

Afterlife: I woke up yesterday morning with the scary knowledge that there is no afterlife. It stuck with me and scared me for about three hours. I’m not super religious, but a few times a week I pray to God and thank him for my blessings. I never ask for anything, it’s just not my style. I don’t know if he listens, but the more I know about the universe, nature, humanity, inventions, etc, I just can’t help but think there is someone behind all this. This isn’t by accident.

As for the afterlife, I just can’t believe that everything I am ends when I die. Take away my mind and I am just a billion individual cells all working in harmony to sustain this body. How did we ever evolve into that? It doesn’t make sense to me. My consciousness has to have more purpose and more life than just this collection of cells.

I woke up knowing I ended when I died. I think this actually comes from my recent viewing of “Cloverfield.” While the death and destruction caused by a monster from outer space rampaging through New York is nothing I would wish on the inhabitants of said city, it would be nice to know there is more to the universe than we know. With the advent of cel phones, a vast majority of the world now has access to a camera with them wherever they go. And about 80% of those cel phones have video capability as well.

So where are our videos of the Loch Ness monster? Videos of real UFO’s? Pictures of Bigfoot? Since none have surfaced, I have to assume that like Magic, the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus, they just don’t exist. There is nothing else to this universe than what we can see and touch. The magical unknown isn’t that magical. There’s never going to come a time in my lifetime when we discover a life that originated somewhere other than Earth. There is never going to be a monster rampaging through NY. There’s never going to be footage of the Loch Ness Monster. And when I die, that’s the end.

That depressed me for about three hours but also made me realize, “Hey buddy, this is all you get. Better make the most of it. This is all there is. Make sure you do it right.” Good thing I’m doing it right so far.

After I’d had some coffee and woke up a little bit, I started to remember things. Like the time we were playing Capture the Flag and we saw some odd lights high up in the atmosphere, moving in synchronicity. Then zipping across the sky faster than anything man-made could possible go. It was on the radio and the papers the next day with hundreds of people seeing it.

Marilyn’s dog, Jasmine, died quite suddenly one day. The next night we were lying in bed reading and we heard footsteps, turning in a circle and a thump on the ground next to the bed. I sat bolt upright but nothing was there. ‘Did you just…”

“Hear Jasmine circle and lay down in her usual spot? Yes I did.”

After my Grandma moved into assisted living, we moved my Grandfather’s enormous desk to my house, as well as a few other things from the house. We were haunted for the next six months. Not in a bad way, but in a way that made me think he was checking out how everything was going. We would hear him walking around upstairs. We would both hear it, look to the ceiling and wonder. Let’s see, I’m here, you’re here, Jasmine is here. So who is walking around upstairs? I’d grab a bat and go take a look but there was never anyone there. A friend of ours who claims to see spirits saw him during dinner one night. She described him sitting in a chair watching us while we ate. She had us turn around but he was gone.

In totally unrelated news –

Marvel killed off one of my favorite Superheroes in March of 2007. Captain America was shot and killed in an event called “Civil War” that had political overtones similar to the Patriot Act and agencies like Homeland Security.

Have you ever seen “Excalibur?” In the film it is established that King Arthur and the land are one. If Arthur is healthy, so is the land. If Arthur is infirm so is the land with crops refusing to grow, everyone poor and diseased. Arthur drinks from the Holy Grail and the land is restored to vibrancy.

Being a huge liberal Democrat, I think it would have been a good storyline to have the same thing happen in the Captain America books. Of course Captain America died. America started torturing people, wire-tapping its own citizens, attacked another country on false pretense, fired people for not being Republican enough (Justice Department scandal), used false terror alerts during an election year to influence the populace and keep them afraid (there were five terror alerts in 2004 and none since then) and a whole bunch of other un-American things. No wonder Cap died!

Marvel should have resurrected Captain America in late January 2009.

Friday, April 24, 2009

iPhone versus the World

So on Facebook the other day, a friend asked “Should I get an iPhone? Can people who have one weigh in on how much they like it?"

And one person responded with something along the lines of “The iPhone is for kids and lemmings! Get a (insert other phone here) which does all the things an iPhone does and more!”

To which I reply – poppycock.

I have never been in love with phones. I didn’t even get a mobile phone until 2006 and lost it within six months. I never utilized its full functionality and never tried. I never texted anyone because using a 12 button keypad for 26 letters and 10 numbers was just beyond me. I hated it.

Why the iPhone is the greatest invention since the personal computer. We’ll start small and move to the amazing.

1. Texting is so easy I use it all the time. I have a full keyboard and have no problem figuring out how to use it.

2. It syncs with my contacts and calendar in Outlook so I always have all my phone numbers, addresses and appointments with me. It’s like a second brain in this regard.

3. With a press of a button I can see what the weather is going to be like for today and the rest of the week. (Big deal right? Hold on, I’m getting to the good stuff.)

4. If I’m on a trip for a few days and don’t bring my computer I can still surf the web and get my email the second it arrives in my inbox.

5. It’s not just a phone, it’s an iPod, playing music or podcasts for me as I walk to class. Or while sitting on the subway I can watch the Daily show.

6. Does any other phone have an app store with hundreds of thousands of songs, apps, podcasts, television shows, movies and books? Is any other phone so easy to buy and update with new stuff? I doubt it.

7. The camera is excellent.

8. Spanish to English and vice versa Dictionary. Very handy.

9. Lets move on to the stuff that I find amazing. As a writer I used to always carry a little voice recorder with me, which annoyed the crap out of me because with a phone, wallet, keys, sunglasses, regular glasses, and the voice recorder, pocket space became very scarce. For 99 cents I bought a voice recorder for the iPhone and now I just talk into my phone and it records everything for transcribing later. Which I can then drag over to my computer. Very convenient.

10. Can you play "Wolfenstein 3D" on your phone? How about "Pac-Man?" How about "Orions" a CCG like game similar to Magic? How about "Texas Hold-em?" "Bejeweled?"

11. GPS. So, I’m in Rome. I’m a bit lost. I know the Vatican is around here somewhere. Pull out the iPhone, pull up Google maps, type in start “Current location” and end “Vatican” and a nice map of Rome comes up showing where I am with a highlighted map showing my route to the Vatican.

12. Kindle. I have been lusting for a Kindle. All my bookshelves are filled up in Vermont. Wendy has a huge wall bookshelf in our apartment in Madrid and it is completely stuffed. And we add another half dozen books a month to it. The thought of having all of this on one wafer thin device is very appealing to me. Plus, I like having access to the vast reserves of Amazon.com. I really liked “Red Thunder” by John Varley and have been thinking about picking up the rest in the series. This means I can either buy them in pounds and get them shipped from England to Spain, or wait until I go home this summer and make a trip to Burlington and go to Barnes and Noble and stock up on ten or fifteen books and carry them in my suitcase back to Spain. OR, I could get a Kindle and have access to everything at Amazon and download any book I want and have it in one minute. (I'm big on instant gratification.) Never taking up a lick of space on my bookshelf. And, I save a fortune on what the book costs. I can buy the latest “Twilight” book in hardcover for $29.99 or I can download it for $9.99. But who wants to spend $400?

The iPhone now has a Kindle app. Wendy downloaded it and bought “Eclipse" to try it out. It is fantastic. I would have thought the screen too small to read, but no. It is just fine. I have spent the last two nights reading “Eclipse” and found the iPhone lighter and more convenient than a regular book. Hard to believe but I swear it's true. And it was free, not $400. With the added benefit that I didn’t need a light on to read (I'm told the Kindle itself needs a light on to read with) so I lay in the dark reading while Wendy slept next to me. I needed to use the bathroom and with the white backdrop of the Kindle app, the iPhone is so bright I found I could use it as a flashlight. (there's actually an app called "Flashlight" where it just shows a white backdrop for this as well.)

Can you use your phone like a flashlight? No? What happens if you get lost in a cave? What then? Ha!

13. Mosquito Repellant. Yes, people have written apps that when the iPhone is hooked up to speakers will drive away mosquitoes.

14. Photos. I have every photo Wendy and I have ever taken on her digital camera on my iPhone. Someone asks me about my trip to the Galapagos, oh look, see here is the boat we were on, and here... Montse wants to know what my house in Vermont looks like : Got it right here. You were in a Capea? Yeah, here, look.

Add to the fact that no matter what other phones can do, they don’t have the community of the app store. They don’t have the thousands of developers working to make apps specific to the iPhone and the community bolstering those apps by adding in locations, restaurants, travel tips, etc.

I essentailly have a phone, voice recorder, Kindle, digital picturebook, GPS, weather channel, play station portable, flashlight, dictionary, television, camera and address book in one device.

It blows my mind.

I haven’t loved a device like this since my first personal computer.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Just have to vent.

Just so people are clear, I am fully onboard with everything having to do with saving wildlife, keeping the environment clean and moving to renewable energy. I find wind, tidal, solar and nuclear power all fascinating and the sooner we get off burning oil and coal the better.

I also love "Time" Magazine. I read most of the articles in it when it comes every week and I think if anyone wants to appear smart, all they need to do is read "Time" cover to cover every week. You'll have a full grasp of social issues, trends, politics, wars, starvation, emerging nations - you name it. All you need to know about the world is in there. I love it.

Just to make that perfectly clear.

What I hate is fear mongering.

The latest issue of "Time" magazine has a cover that states "Vanishing Act: How Climate Change is causing a new age of extinction."

The main focus of the piece is on Madagascar and its unique ecology, that like Australia and the Galapagos Islands, is a Darwinian playground.

Do you know what is causing the mass extinction of species in Madagascar? As detailed in the article? The loss of 80% of the forests of Madascar due to human logging.

WTF does that have to do with climate change?

So how do they work climate change into it?

"Through our growing numbers, our thirst for natural resources, and most of all climate change- which by one reckoning, could help carry off 20% to 30% of all species before the end of the century-"

"By one reckoning" means - "Using the most extreme example I could find"
"End of the century" means - "We're going to predict what's going to happen 91 years from now."
"Most of all climate change" = Forget the 80% deforestation, that's not important, what's really important is CLIMATE CHANGE! BOOGA BOOGA!"

I think extinction is a horrible thing and we have lost some truly amazing animals. But please, tell me how to save the forest from being razed and how to stop human encroachment on delicate lands, don't try to push an agenda that has nothing whatsoever to do with the facts and taints what could have been an otherwise engaging article.

After "Fragmented habitats are problematic because many endangered species wind up trapped in green oases surrounded by degraded land. As global warming changes the climate, species will try to migrate..."

Really.

How about focusing on expanding those green oases and looking for real solutions and preventing this from happening in the first place instead of just screaming "GLOBAL WARMING! and "CLIMATE CHANGE" like it's responsible for the latest hurricane to your kid getting a D- in school.

Seriously, this is getting pathetic. I wanted to read an article on saving the animals of Madagascar and instead I got "Climate change will be responsible for more animal deaths than 80% deforestation of Madagascar."

I couldn't even finish the article.

Monday, April 20, 2009

UFC, Agents, Twilight and Pot.

I only have randomness for you this week.

Chuck Liddell lost this weekend at UFC 97 and I think his time is done. He never learned to ground and pound. He never learned Jiu Jitsu, he stopped using leg kicks. He relied on his speed and the barrels of TNT at the end of his arms to knock people out with brutal efficiency for years, becoming an MMA Legend. So why is he done now? Performity of MMAJunkie explains it best and opened my eyes to why Chuck has lost four of his last five fights.

http://mmajunkie.com/news/14604/performifys-picks-for-ufc-97-silva-vs-leites.mma

“Counter-punchers traditionally have a very steep fall off at the end of their careers. They build their primary fighting style on the fact that their speed and power enable them to punish opponents at every opening. When their hand speed reduces to the point that they can no longer effectively counter, they cannot usually shift their lifelong striking philosophy to become a lead puncher. When their power reduces to the point that those counters are no longer devastating, not only are they reduced in what they can land and forced out of their comfort zone in striking due to the speed change, but when they do land they do so with such reduced power that their whole game unravels abruptly. The best example of this fall off comes from Roy Jones Jr.; he was without a doubt one of boxing's career greats, but he hit an absolute wall in 2004 and dropped three consecutive fights despite being favored to win in the first two.”

Chuck has always relied on only his hands to do his dirty work for him and that served him well for years. But age hits people who rely solely on speed and power much harder than it affects people who rely on a wide variety of skills, like, say, Randy Couture.

I continue to slog away, approaching another twenty agents and receiving another five rejections and fifteen silences. I found some fantastic writers forums with thousands of members “Absolute Write Water Cooler” and have received some good feedback on my query letter which I have implemented and plan on sending out to another twenty agents this week. Hope springs eternal. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.

Spanish is finally coming along where I can converse with people in stores and understand their response and questions. Not always, but it’s getting there. Now, understand, I can speak with my teacher Montse in full sentences and we talk movies, politics, how was your weekend, what are your plans, how are things going… etc, but that’s with a teacher who knows to speak slow and not use slang. But I can tell her anything I want to tell her and she can explain anything to me. But speaking with a teacher and speaking with a man of the street are two completely different things.

In “I am a such a girl” news I actually devoured the second and third book of the “Twilight” series and enjoyed them.

Minor spoilers ahead.

The second book contains almost no vampires and instead focuses on their eternal enemies the werewolves. It was nice to see Bella hanging out with a guy who didn’t sneer at her and chuckle at everything she said. It was refreshing to see her new friend be younger and not have eighty-five years of maturity. In fact, pretty much everything about the werewolves is exactly opposite the vampires in this book.

Very long lives seem to bring wealth. The vampires in this story have millions. The werewolves are a poor Native-American tribe. Vampires are cold to the touch, the werewolves in human form run a hundred and eight degree temperature. Vampires are generally slight where the werewolves’ human forms generally run close to seven feet tall and built like a bodybuilder. The vampires are always calm and in control. The werewolves constantly have to watch their emotions or explode into wolf form. One of them in a fit of rage actually scarred his fiancĂ©. With vampires you’re in danger of having your blood sucked out, with werewolves you’re in danger of them going into a rage at the slightest mistaken comment and tearing your head off.

As with anyone who is willing to write millions of words, Stephanie Meyer’s writing was bound to improve and it has. The second book had me enthralled. The origin of the werewolves was a well told tale and by the third book when Edward returns, you don’t know who to side with. The young werewolf friend Bella has made becomes annoying in a perfectly reasonable and realistic way and by the end of the third book you want her back together with Edward (the vampire.)

Admittedly, she gets a little long-winded on the explanations of events and the descriptions of how beautiful Edward is get a little excessive so I just skim those pages and flip through three or four pages in a row to get back to the action. It’s written for teens so I accept that it’s written this way.

If you can slog through the first book, the second and third books are worth it. Not highly recommended, but recommended.

In totally unrelated news, Wendy sent me this link which I found amazing. Written by a policeman.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/norm-stamper/420-thoughts-on-pot-vs-al_b_188627.html

“There have been no documented cases of lung cancer in a marijuana-only smoker, nor has pot been scientifically linked to any type of cancer. (Don't trust an advocate's take on this? Try the fair and balanced coverage over at Fox.) Alcohol abuse contributes to a multitude of long-term negative health consequences, notably cirrhosis of the liver and a variety of cancers.”

And

“Over the past four years I've asked police officers throughout the U.S. (and in Canada) two questions. When's the last time you had to fight someone under the influence of marijuana? (I'm talking marijuana only, not pot plus a six-pack or a fifth of tequila.) My colleagues pause, they reflect. Their eyes widen as they realize that in their five or fifteen or thirty years on the job they have never had to fight a marijuana user. I then ask: When's the last time you had to fight a drunk? They look at their watches.”

Read the whole article.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Back on track.

Was able to eat a substantial dinner last night and was ravenous. Twelve escargot, tons of bread dipped in the sauce, pate on toast, a huge plate of fries, etc.

In other news, I am reading "New Moon" the second book after "Twilight" and the writing is much better. I'm actually a little interested now.

Today is recover from our trip to Paris, catch up on news, email, stolen TV episodes and maybe, if I'm really ambitious, a shower.

This week and next I plan on contacting a doctor about having a battery of tests done. Thank you all for the support.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

The highs and the lows

About five years ago I watched "Hero" and thought "hmph. Whatever." It did not move me. I didn't get the point. My friend Michele was stunned by my reaction.

I was on ten milligrams of Lexipro at the time and it controlled my panic attacks. It also dulled all of my emotions.

This is going to ramble a bit...(a lot) but bear with me, there is a point... I think.

Weeks ago.

I have just given a sigh of relief, watching TV on the couch with Wendy.
Wendy turns to me "You look content."
"I feel normal. And it is wonderful."

I know what normal is. I used to feel it all the time before my massive brain altering panic attack about five years ago. Then I was put on medication, which saved me. It was great. Miracle drug. But with side effects. Like ballooning up 40 lbs and no longer enjoying anything beyond a superficial emotion.

I rewatched "Hero" recently and cried.

I've cried a lot this week and I'm not sad. I'm glad. Movies move me. Experiences with Wendy move me. Life moves me.

This is the effect of not being on drugs.

The highs of my brain these days are incredible. I can't stop writing. Everything I watch is amazing. Life is more full. I can't sleep because I lie in bed composing notes like this or translating everything I think into Spanish. This is why I am writing this now. I cannot keep my eyes open but I MUST write this. Typing takes all my effort but I have to continue. I cannot rest until I get this out.

I used to smoke a lot of marijuana in college. Food tasted amazing. Crappy movies were brilliant. I think my friends and I watched the same crappy 80's musical like 97 times and each and every time it was a masterpiece. I don't smoke anymore and haven't for decades. Movies are like that all the time now and it is wonderful. No drugs.

We are watching "Before Sunrise" last night and I say to Wendy - "Did you see that?"

"No. What?"

"They were just talking about how he was walking with his girlfriend and two guys said "nice ass" and he let it go. But his girlfriend responded with "Fuck you asshole." And as he said, she's not going to get her ass kicked, now it's on his shoulders."

"Watch the two guys on the bench."

So, the next scene he is walking and talking with her and two guys are sitting on a park bench and watch them go by. They keep looking at her. I keep waiting for something to happen from them, but it doesn't.

Fantastic directing that makes you think you see foreshadowing, but it is an illusion.

There is another scene where she is talking about a sad time in her life and he raises his hand to touch her hair, to comfort her, but her hand comes up at the same time to brush her hair back and he stops. Removes his hand. You can see the hesitation/frustration/regret/fuck I don't even know the right word to describe the emotion on his face.

How do you direct a scene like that? How do you explain to the actors you want him to comfort her and at the exact same moment she has to raise her hand and look away and not realize he was reaching to her?

I notice all of those things in every movie we watch and I love it.

Every night Wendy and I will pause a movie and just sit and talk for thirty minutes to an hour. I explain this to my mom.

My mom : "Do you realize how lucky you are?"
Me : "I do. I realize it every day."

There is more. All of them highs. My life is amazing, but my eyes are closing and I need to finish this or I won't be able to sleep.

The lows -

I fell asleep in the street last week. Twice. Not in the park, not on a bench, but walking home. I fell asleep on the sidewalk. Twice. Not in a corner, not on a bench, the sidewalk. The middle of the sidewalk.

This post has since been modified to remove embarrassing things. I found out my lack of sleep was causing dementia. I found a wonderful doctor who prescribed some meds (not sleeping pills) that allowed me to have deep, crazy REM sleep and it solved the problem.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Oh yeah, now I remember...

A friend asked me in an email a few minutes ago if I had read Stephen King's "On Writing." Which reminded me of what I meant to post earlier. (Heart still going 120 beats a minute sitting still. Oddly, the only thing I feel like doing is posting here.)


I know that some people get rejected 200 times before getting a three book deal and sucess. I don't mind the rejections...wait, that's not true... I think I mean, I accept the rejections and they don't surprise me. It comes with the territory.

I loved "On Writing" when his wife pulls his manuscript out of the trash and he submits it (Carrie) and gets a two hundred thousand dollar contract.



Two



Hundred



Thousand



Dollars.



I won't print his name here but,since I'm such a free-writer these days, I have to let out this stream of thought. Honestly, I would like to vomit my entire brain onto this website. Do you know what makes a writer? Someone who HAS to write. Right now, I cannot write enough.

Continuing.

I have two friends who have talent that is world class.

One of them is a singer who was once asked "Will you do what it takes to become famous? Lose some weight, dye your hair, pretend to be perky, sing crappy pop songs that mean nothing?"

No. Not interested. Accept me as I am or shut up.

She had/has the voice. Her friend's know it, I know it, I think she knows it. She's happy being a programmer who sings as a hobby.

As a writer who will pretty much prostitue himself to become successful in my chosen field, this attitude confuses me, and as has been explained to me - "Let it go. It's not what they choose."

I have another friend (The one who just emailed me) who looks like Ethan Hawke and is an actor. Except, he is six foot five and so muscular he could kill the Hulk with one punch. I think he benches like... I don't know... What would be the weight of seventeen Jamies? Math is hard.

Whenever he tries out for a part in a play, they give him the lead, or, if he chooses, whatever role he wants. He recently played Gaston in Vermont's most prestigious stage company's production of "Beauty and the Beast." I'm told many people were pissed. Long time actors who were jealous. It was his first time auditioning for them and they gave him, essentially, one of the lead roles. Many people consider this stage company a stepping stone to Broadway or Hollywood.

In his first time ever trying out they gave him a lead.

What is more impressive is that I know if he had said "I would like to play Belle" (Beauty) they would have said "Whatever you want. Usually that role is played by a woman, but hey, whatever you want. You are so great, you can play the goddamn candlestick if you want, just please, be in our show."

He is happy with his success and pretends it is no big deal. It's just a thing. He likes to act. It's fun. He doesn't like the drama, the attitudes or the stardom. He's having fun. Which is great for him.

But like my singer friend, I think both of them could be players on the world stage, and they choose not too. And I don't get that. And as has been explained to me, that is just fine. I value their decisions and I love them both as two of my best friends. They amaze me.

I don't get it. But they amaze me.

This and then... this.

I wrote something about my mental state on a very private board in a very private place and I think it came out well.

Someone responded with this.

"Really, you need to read tropic of cancer and any Hemmingway book from life in Europe late 20s early 30s.... you sound just like all those authors.http://books.google.com/books?id=xXq99F ... er#PPA1,M1 Just read the first paragraph"

Was I just compared to Hemmingway and Henry Miller? Are you kidding me? Holy cow did I need that this week.

I will soldier on!

What do I mean by that?

This.

Dear Jamie Wakefield,
It is with kind thanks that we respond to your submission to The ... Literary Agency. We apologize for the delay in our response, and we thank you for your patience. Please be assured that we have carefully considered your project. Unfortunately, we don't feel the manuscript is right for us at this time.
Because we receive more than two hundred submissions per week, it is necessary to be extremely selective on a very subjective basis. We wish you the best of luck. There are numerous excellent agents that might be the right fit for your manuscript. Don't give up!
Sincerely,
M...


First - 200 submissions a week.

As Time magazine said "There are more people who want to be writers than there are people who want to be readers."

Wow.

I read over my query letter at the bottom of the rejection and thought "Nope. No way I can make that better. I'd take that letter to bed and sleep with it if I could. " Then I read the sample chapter I also sent them and thought "Really fucking good. This is even better than I thought it was."

I'm quite the egomaniac. Oh wait, some more feedback -

"Thank you for your query. We appreciate you sharing your work with our agency.
We did review your proposal, and unfortunately we are going to pass on representing it. The premise just didn't resonate with us as much as we would have liked. We wish you the best in your search for representation. Your book deserves an agent who can put the requisite enthusiasm behind it.


We appreciate the hard work and diligence needed to get in the door, and since this is a highly subjective business, you may well find success elsewhere. We wish you all the best with your writing.
Regards,"


Those are some of the nicer rejections.

I had more to add to this, but can't remember what it was. I also wanted to answer all the comments in the global warming post but my heart has sudenly decided that it wants to beat at a hundred and fifty beats a minute for no reason and I need to walk around a bit.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Let's see how pissed off at me people will be.

I don't know why, but man-made Global Warming is like a religion to people and I imagine that if I post this I will recieve Jihad like death threats. People just get so pissed when you try to present them with alternative data. I don't understand it.

This is a letter I sent to Time magazine they declined to print.

As a news magazine, do you ever feel the need to examine the other side of Global Warming? There are some very reputable scientists that disagree with the political organization known as the IPCC. How about questioning why the IPCC blatantly uses unqualified environment activists instead of experts like Paul Reiter in the field they want studied? How about examining Al Gore’s scary chart that actually shows a completely different conclusion than the one he presents the audience? How about examining the actual percentage of greenhouse gases humans cause to go into the air and contrast them to the percentages of wildfires, volcanoes and cows?

You do a disservice to your readers by not presenting both sides of the debate. In the article by Bryan Walsh “going Green” the typical scare tactics are used. “The Dane’s grasp of climate science seems shaky at best. The polar bear is far from okay: the U.S. Geological Survey reported last month that two thirds of the population will disappear by 2050 because of shrinking sea ice.”

Really? They can “report” on what is going to happen in 2050? Currently, despite the fear-mongering, polar bears are remaining stable and in some areas, increasing in number. The fact is polar bears are okay. They are just fine. You can’t “report” their number in 2050, you can only predict it. And then, only IF wildly variable climate models are to be trusted. Which they can’t. Nor can you predict what the bears will do if faced with shrinking ice. You can’t “report” that they will all just die.

I believe our planet is warming or cooling. Why wouldn’t I? It’s been having ice ages and thaws for hundreds of millions of years. Greenland used to have arable land. Then it was covered in ice. Now it’s thawing again. How is this a sign we’re causing this to happen?

As a news magazine you should be looking at both sides of the issue, but in fact, you are ignoring a great deal of valid science and scientists that are looking at other explanations for Global Warming than human’s use of fossil fuels.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Dollhouse, Lie to me, Amelie

So much pain.

Nothing hurts like going crazy. I'm starting to think it's not psychological but physical. Big thanks to Wendy who has been the absolute perfect girlfriend for going on five days now, saying all the right things, feeding me small bits of food and not judgeing me for my weakness and failures. I don't know how she does it. I slept for 66 hours in a row this week and ate one egg and half a piece of toast. Something is wrong with my brain and I hate it.

So, I was able to stay awake for all of two hours yesterday and watched "Lie to me" and "Dollhouse." Both of them were the best episodes of the season. I didn't think it was possible for anything to exceed the best episodes of Buffy, Angel or Firefly, but they did. Lie to me was stunning. Dollhouse explored a whole other dimension I didn't think was possible in the framework of the show. It was...fascinating.

Of course, I am still bat shit fucking crazy so maybe that's influencing my opinion to.

Welcome to my world kids. You come to this website you get the whole deal.

Today I woke up and felt normal. Good lordy was that a relief! It lasted about two hours and then I was bat shit crazy again. Try and imagine what it is like to lose control of your mind.

I've been sitting here ten minutes contemplating my next sentance... Sentence? My spelling and grammer (grammar?) suck.

Wendy has gotten us a bunch of movies that are about Paris. We just watched "Amelie." I'm still crazy so you might want to take this with a grain of salt. I think it is the best movie I have ever seen. It reminds me of "Being John Malkovitch" and "Fargo" and ... I can't think of anything else. I know there's abouta dozen other movies I could name, but just imagine magical realism surrreal movies that play with camera angles and cimanatography and sound and odd dialogue.

I loved it. (hint - still crazy) I could not stop telling Wendy how great it was. By the final scene I had massive torrents of tears running down my eyes. "Please kiss him. Please, for the love of God let them finally kiss."

The movie finished and I asked Wendy, "Can I go write on my blog? I'm sure you're sick of hearing me gush about this movie."

It is brilliantly written. It inspired me to think about ways that I could help other people be happy. It had interlocking plots and storylines (repetative?) that you couldn't wait to be resolved. It had a main actress who got more and more beautiful the longer the movie went on.

Highly recommended.