I am in the middle of writing “I’m not an alcoholic, I’m just a European.” Having transcribed hundreds of notes I am now forging them into a travel journal the likes of which the world has never seen! Well, unless you know who Bill Bryson, Peter Mayle, or Chris Stewart are, then, well, it will be a lot like theirs. Only funnier. And easier to read. I hope…
It amazes me how much my life has changed in three years. My screensaver on my computer is my pictures folder. We watch a lot of TV from my computer hooked up through the HDMI port to our widescreen Bravia and when there is a pause for bathroom breaks, food or opening another bottle of wine, the screensaver comes on and I am endlessly amazed at what I see. Mountains in Ecuador, Christmas celebrations in Columbia, Italian fountains, the mountains of Candeleda, seafood holocausts in Baiona, the sand castle of Heidelberg, the endless pictures of Stefan grabbing Lena’s boob at locations around the world, or the simple pleasure of me eating a sausage McMuffin with egg seated in a beach chair in the sand on the Maine coast.
All of which is an excuse to show what I think is my favorite picture of the thousands I have in my pictures folder. I took this in the Galapagos. The hot chick in the center makes it though.
Oh yeah, need to warn you. I suggested “Assassin’s Apprentice” by Robin Hobb a short time ago and now I must issue a caution with that. It is a trilogy and I have read reviews of the last book. Apparently the ending is sad. Imagine, I don’t know, the sea witch marrying the prince at the end of “The Little Mermaid” or maybe Sigourney Weaver allowing Newt to die to the Alien Queen in “Aliens” or Sarah Conner getting killed by the Terminator in Terminator I. Or worse still, imagine Superman as a dead beat dad, trying to steal Lois away from a happy relationship and crawling on his hands and knees while beaten by thugs trying to get away and not fighting back. So, take that recommendation at your own risk.
I cannot stop reading and have started the second book of the series, knowing that tragedy awaits and yet, cannot stop myself from reading. She has a skill, I can’t deny.
Check out the new poll on the right side. Apparently, it’s poll week. It is beyond my control. I am driven by urges.
I have been listening to a podcast called “iFanboy” and I love it. I have two hundred episodes on my iPhone and listen to it whenever I go out for errands. The guys doing it are intelligent, catch me up on the comics I have missed the last three years and keep me constantly laughing. The last one I listened too was about “All Star Superman” by Grant Morrison, which I loved.
I HATED “Superman Returns” but the podcast made me want to see something Superman related and Wendy had never seen the movie. Also, I have found in the past that sometimes watching something a second time is better than watching it the first. You know what is coming and are prepared. Your expectations do not get in the way of what you actually see. So, maybe Superman Returns will be better on the second viewing than on the first.
It was not.
This movie was directed by Bryan Singer. He of “The Usual Suspects,” X-Men I”, “X-Men II”, “Valkyrie” and this... This travesty. This abomination!
On an interesting side note, I did realize last night, while explaining Superman II, that General Zod was one of the generals in “Valkyrie.”
“Kneel before Zod.” OMG That’s him! The general who shows up in civilian clothes
during the coup and says this should be seen as a people’s movement! That’s General Zod!
Terence Stamp http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000654/
I was so incensed by “Superman Returns” that I had to take notes on things I was going to bitch about today. I was going to start out explaining the good, bad and the ugly of the movie, pretending that I could explain away the many faults with an optimistic attitude and smiley face. Maybe this… or Maybe that… but no, I do not have the patience or the time. I must rant and rant I shall!
Superman Returns is supposed to take place after the events of Superman II. In Superman II, Superman gives up his powers to be with Lois, they have sex in the fortress of solitude, and then return to civilization where Clark discovers three Kryptonians destroying the planet. Clark gets his powers back, defeats the villains, gives Lois a super kiss, somehow making her forget the sex, that Clark is Superman and the fortress of solitude.
So, we start off Superman Returns with the premise that Superman has slipped Lois a roofie. Then he finds out that his home planet may have been discovered by astronomers so he flies away in his father’s spacecraft for five years searching for remains. All he finds is dust.
1. He knocks up Lois and never even says goodbye.
2. Lois hooks up with another guy immediately, since the guy thinks the child is his, and nine months must of happened pretty fast for her to give birth to this child so soon after Superman leaves.
3. Superman fails to pay child support for five years.
4. Superman’s (normal farm) dog drops a ball at his feet, wanting to play fetch. Superman throws the ball over the horizon. The dog runs ten steps looks back at Superman with a look of “Why do you have to be such a dick Clark?”
5. Clark Kent and Superman return (after an identical five year absence) on the same day and no one even blinks.
6. Superman (symbol of all that is right and good and honorable) starts trying to steal Lois from her current boyfriend with sly glances, longing looks and a secret flight through the air above Metropolis.
7. The smartest man in the universe is reduced to sleeping with old women in order to raise money. Wait… Bryan Singer feels the need to explain why LEX FUCKING LUTHOR is rich? Just have Lex be rich. We’ll get it. He made some smart stock investments, patented some genius inventions, whatever. The greatest super villain in all universes becomes a gigolo to raise money for evil schemes? Pathetic and stupid.
8. Perry White says to Lois “look, all the major newspapers have hot reporters on rooftops looking for Superman. Your assignment is Superman not the blackout.” So let me get this straight; Superman only talks to hot single female reporters on rooftops? Really?
9. Superman sees the fax Lois sent with coordinates on it. He flies towards those coordinates and then sees a massive earthquake, land mass rising, eruption, whatever, under the sea traveling toward Metropolis. He turns back, blows out one fire and catches the Daily Planet globe from crushing people and… that’s it? You saved the city from the crystal destruction by blowing out a fire and catching a huge globe?
10. Lex raises an entire island off the eastern seaboard and yet, there is no tidal wave? The water isn’t affected at all by a new land mass appearing in the middle of it?
11. Superman’s kid crushes a thug with a piano. Shortly, Lois and the child are locked in a pantry. Lois asks her super-son, “Honey, can you help mommy with the door?” Twenty minutes go by with multiple shots of Lois trying to force the door and the kid happily sitting on the floor eating Oreo’s ignoring his mom’s last request. WTF was the point of that?
12. So Lex makes a huge land mass made of crystal. His ultimate plan destroying most of the U.S. and everyone will move to his new crystal continent. With what arable land? With what buildings? With what… everything? Why wouldn’t they move to Europe or Asia? Where is the food going to come from? Worst… evil… plot… ever.
13. Superman lands on the new continent and loses his powers because it’s made partly of Kryptonite. He then gets beaten up by thugs and stabbed in the back with a Kryptonite knife. The part most disturbing about this, is Superman crawling away from his beating, whimpering and crying out. Look, Superman isn’t just Superman because he has super-powers. He doesn’t turn into a cowardly simpering wimp when he loses those powers or faces adversity that matches those powers. He fights back. He shows courage against all adversity. He’s supposed to be the shining example to other heroes because of his ideals, his courage and his morals; not his super powers. He’s like the Captain America of the DC Universe. People look to him for inspiration not because he’s so strong but because he never bends his morals. Because his SPIRIT is an inspiration. People don’t look up to Superman because he’s Homer Simpson with Super Strength, Flight and Invulnerability. Having Superman crawl away whimpering while being beaten by thugs reduces Superman to “Anyone who has his powers could do what he does” and that’s not the point at all.
14. Superman gets a recharge from the sun and lifts up an entire continent of Kryptonite. (Rolls eyes.) Again, no tidal wave by millions of tons of rock leaving the ocean.
15. They put SOLAR POWERED SUPERMAN in a dark room with the shades drawn. To recover. Brilliant.
Is this the worst Superhero Movie ever made? I have to go with yes.