Monday, February 15, 2010

Wendy and I are getting married this August.

Weddings are an odd thing. There are so many choices to make, so many traditions to follow or ignore, so many people to invite or, worse, not invite. So many things that are possible, and impossible.

We have found a fantastic venue, a great cake maker, a great photographer and an amazing videographer.

It was funny. I investigated a number of videographers and found one who has examples on his website that literally brought me to tears. (I am a big girl, but no, still not gay.) I showed it to Wendy while she sat on my lap in front of the computer, thinking she would be as moved as I. While I have snot and tears running down my nose she says “I hate Dave Mathews” which the video montage was set to. Sigh.

Click this link then go to “demo videos” first one.

We were going to have “Chasing Cars” by Snow Patrol as our wedding song since it meant so much to us when we first met, but really doesn’t fit us anymore. “Will you just lay with me and let the world pass us by?” Wendy and I never let the world pass us by. The song just so doesn’t fit our life. It might be a good wedding video song though.

Invites were hard and something I am struggling with today. Wendy said to me yesterday “If I could have the perfect food for our wedding, I would have the chicken tostas from Casa Lucas, the fried Fois from Vero’s wedding, and centoyo (which I am spelling wrong but is the Spanish word for Spider Crab.) But that is not possible and she knows that.

Somehow, I always thought my perfect wedding would be making an announcement on my website saying “EVERYONE’s INVITED TO THE KING OF THE FATTIES WEDDING!” Everyone. Anyone who reads my website, anyone I’ve ever know, just….


I live next to my parents and that’s not a bad thing because they are amazing. With their backyard and mine we have about four acres of space. I’d invite everyone to put sleeping bags on the floor, put tents up, get porta potties and have this huge barbecue, party, Magic tournament, drunken Carcasonne and a priest who would say “Do you?”

“ I do.”

“Me too.”

“Then you’re married”

Honestly, I have looked into this, those can actually be your vows and make you legally married in Vermont.

But, like Wendy’s dream of Fois, Tostada and Spider Crab it just isn’t realistic. Hell, I can’t even invite all the people I want to just because of personality conflicts, being out of touch, friends who now hate me, people who were important a long time ago and have drifted away and other factors.

There is one guy who I have not invited who I think is a king among men (If your name doesn’t begin with a K, then no, I am not talking about you. You, I still hate and will never forgive you for making Mare cry), but I don’t think he actually likes me anymore. But he is such a good person he would show up and be there and wish me the best, but I don’t think he really wants to see me or make the effort to be there so I am using my best logic and not inviting him. There are a ton of people from my days of Magic that I want to invite but they are not people I have hung out with for a long time. I love them but the wedding right now is all about people who have always been there. Who remain a part of my life or have been there for me always. Hilary and Michele, Joshie, Deb Brisson, Leigh Guptil who worked with me 20 years ago at the Middlebury Inn, was my roommate, has always been a good friend and who I correspond with and see every time I am home. We are big fans of each other.

If I had my way, I would invite Ben and Kate, Adrian Sullivan, Tom Gueven (whose name I ALWAYS misspell) , Hammer, Mark Rosewater, the entire crew of anyone at Magic R&D who had any input whatsoever on “Timbermare”, every one of my ex-girlfriends I am still friends with, (Which would be all of them) Pete H, Dave Meddish, Chrish McMahon, The entire Stole family (Trisha!) who I think are the smartest, best looking, funniest people I have ever met (and I’m related to them!) the entire Magic and Poker crew who were the most important people in my life for eight years but who I rarely see now, childhood friends who made me who I am, Just about every single teacher at MUHS where I worked for five years and they gave me nothing but love and support which I will never forget.

But I can’t. My web of friendships is so vast that as soon as I leave a select group of people who have always been there for me, for literally 20 years, it means everyone comes. Which I would like, but we actually discussed the outdoor option and we can’t make it work.

Anyway, that’s it. If you’re not invited it’s either an oversight or a very hard decision I had to make based on the above criteria. If you think it’s an oversight, email me and I’ll correct it. And if your name starts with a K and you really do want to come, let me know. I'll add you in a heartbeat.


  1. At least we can see the pictures and read the stories. Congrats!!!
    Bobby Young

  2. It is crazy how political weddings can be. Just post the pictures and maybe a mailing address so those of us from your past who names don't begin with K but would like to send a card can do so. Congratulations!!

  3. You have just driven 100 people who you use to know who's name begins with K crazy.

    I have been not invited to about 4 weddings by people I have considered to be my best friends. But then they have about 200 best friends. It seems much worse to invite everyone and be in debt for the rest of your life.

    THe outdoor party thing seems more appropriate for a re-union get together than a wedding.

    The reality is at a Wedding is about the worse place to get in touch with the bride and groom. THey have so much on there mind it is amazing they stay sane.

  4. Hey it's totally cool, at our wedding we went through the same thing, was unable to invite a bunch of co-workers due to space issues at the church, some of them were really hurt for being snubbed, but what are you going to do.

    Regarding the wedding menu - NEED MORE GIANT SQUID TENTACLE!!!

  5. "The Heat"February 16, 2010 at 8:44 PM

    Yes Jamie, go ahead and send me an invite.


  6. Hmm...I wonder if I can clear time in August for a vacation...

  7. I see you forgot ole Mizu.

    Best of luck.
    Sounds like a grand adventure.

  8. Congrats to the two of you!

  9. My wife comes home from work the other night and says "Is Jamie talking about you on his web page?" Which of course I was like What? Who? Me? I've no clue. She tells me to come here and read, which of course I have to ask another dumb question. "What's the address?" I think this was Friday.

    After reading this entry I knew you were talking about me. I'm conceded and self centered enough to know those good comments are about me. You know, You're so vain I bet you think this blog is about you.

    You've deserved better from me over the last few years.

    However I'm exhausted from work and you're going to have to settle for a Congratulations until after I've had some sleep.

    Congratz to you both and I'll catch up with you later.