Wednesday, September 15, 2010

The Ballad of Thor Part I

Yes, the wedding details are coming. It is long already and Wendy is looking it over to make sure I didn’t forget anything. So, for now you get this. I would like to add, this was a four page single-spaced Word document before the brilliant Wendy came and talked to me about my move to the free side on It eventually dissolved into this-

"How many articles do you want to write a week?"


"How many times a week do you want to update your website?"

"Every day."

"Is that possible?"

"This is my hero. Look. The Watchtower of Destruction by The Ferrett. He updates every day."

"Notice how he does paragraphs and you do four pages at once."


"Break up this entry (which no one has read yet) and your writing for the week is done. Expand on some of it. Post it as 'The Saga of Thor...' to be continued.

"No one really wants to read four pages at once anyway..."


So, here is today's entry.

We have become addicted to “America’s Next Top Model.” As I’ve told you before, I am a big girl. On one of the challenges they have to write their own commercial, memorize it, then deliver. The ending is “What’s my secret? I… ‘insert secret here.’”

“I’m afraid of the dark.”

“I’m afraid a shark will attack me in my sleep.”

“I throw up a lot after eating.”

What’s our secret?

We can’t stop talking about the little dog.

Little dog is an odd way to describe him. Our dog Thor is the world’s largest dachshund, and I don’t mean fattest. My sister is caretaker for forty-six show dachshunds. The largest is called “Atlas.” Thor could swallow that dog whole. Wendy describes him as a dachshund crossed with a cow. I have literally had people look at him and exclaim “Oh my God! Is that a dachshund?”

“Yes, and before you ask, no, he is not a cross, he is a purebred.”

What’s my secret? I hide friends after they have a baby and their entire Facebook updates become videos and cute stories about the new baby.

In other words, I now hate me. Because all we talk about is Thor.

See, we thought we were done with dogs. I had four at one time and then Thor and Merlin starting fighting so I asked my sister Molly to take Thor. Then Merlin and Morganna became so decrepit they needed to be put down. Then my house caretaker left so I had to find a new home for Nikki while I was in Spain.

So, I was dogless.

We gave away everything related to dogs to the Humane Society. Six crates, shampoo, toys, brushes, tennis balls, pads and blankets. Everything.

Then Thor came back into our lives.

Part II tomorrow...


  1. yep i love AMTM but also Britain's Next Top colleagues think I am very strange, but logically what is not to like about a competition about beautiful woman competing to see who is most beautiful!

  2. Wendy's idea of taking your standard length post and breaking into 1/7 sized slices is brilliant!

  3. I thinks the move to SCG Select has done some good!

  4. Wendy's idea is a good one, that's for sure. Nobody writes as much as you and still posts every day. Well, almost noone.

    However if you post a huuuuge post, then pull it down and chop it up, people who read the original on their RSS readers already know the ending ;)
    Just saying :D

  5. Chalk another vote up to "Wendy's idea is awesome". The more often I get to read your blog, the happier I am.